Closed Adoption
Fact #1 – Closed adoption involves no contact with the adopting family before the baby is born. In a closed adoption, the birth mother typically allows an adoption agency to choose the adoptive parents for her. She will not have any information about the family who is adopting her baby. In a closed adoption, there is no contact with the adoptive family before the baby is born.
Fact #2 – There is no future contact with the adoptive family in a closed adoption. Generally, it is not possible to have contact with the family or baby in the future in a closed adoption. Birth mothers are not required to provide their contact information to the adoptive family. However, it is possible to provide this information in case a birth mother wants future contact. Even if the birth mother provides contact information, the adoptive family is not required to contact the birth mother for any reason. This includes if they divorce or one of them dies or if either remarries and gets custody of the child.
Fact #3 – You cannot share ongoing medical information. If you do not share contact information with the adoptive family, they cannot request medical information from you moving forward. You also will not get medical information from them regarding your child. This information could be important when diagnosing and preventing illness.
Fact #4 – Privacy is the main benefit of a closed adoption. If you feel the need for privacy, that is the main benefit of a closed adoption. The adoptive family cannot contact you without your prior consent. Similarly, your child will not contact you in the future. Also, any children you have now, or in the future, will not have contact with the sibling who was adopted. However, adoptees may find their biological families today using new DNA technologies and social media.
Fact #5 – Studies show that closed adoption isn’t always best for the child.
There are some drawbacks to a closed adoption that effect the birth mother and the adoptee. Here are a few:
Author: Family Formation
Fact #2 – There is no future contact with the adoptive family in a closed adoption. Generally, it is not possible to have contact with the family or baby in the future in a closed adoption. Birth mothers are not required to provide their contact information to the adoptive family. However, it is possible to provide this information in case a birth mother wants future contact. Even if the birth mother provides contact information, the adoptive family is not required to contact the birth mother for any reason. This includes if they divorce or one of them dies or if either remarries and gets custody of the child.
Fact #3 – You cannot share ongoing medical information. If you do not share contact information with the adoptive family, they cannot request medical information from you moving forward. You also will not get medical information from them regarding your child. This information could be important when diagnosing and preventing illness.
Fact #4 – Privacy is the main benefit of a closed adoption. If you feel the need for privacy, that is the main benefit of a closed adoption. The adoptive family cannot contact you without your prior consent. Similarly, your child will not contact you in the future. Also, any children you have now, or in the future, will not have contact with the sibling who was adopted. However, adoptees may find their biological families today using new DNA technologies and social media.
Fact #5 – Studies show that closed adoption isn’t always best for the child.
There are some drawbacks to a closed adoption that effect the birth mother and the adoptee. Here are a few:
- Birth parents might change their mind in the future and want contact
- Uncertainty about how the baby is doing may cause depression and anxiety
- Knowing the child is happy and thriving can help with processing grief and loss
- Not knowing their birth parents can lead to a feeling of loneliness and lower self-esteem for a child
- Many adoptees feel a piece is missing when they don’t know any information about their biological family
Author: Family Formation
Open Adoption
- What is open adoption?
Open adoption requires people to think about adoption in a new way. Rather than “subtracting” children from their birth family and “adding” them to their adoptive family, open adoption means that the family has been transformed and extended to form what we call an “adoptive kinship network.” Family members find themselves entering a more complicated set of relationships, but one that is usually rewarding for everyone (Grotevant, 2015).
Here are some questions to ask yourself as you are considering if open adoption is right for you:
- How often am I willing to share updates with the child’s birth family?
- In what ways am I willing to share updates? (Telephone, Text, Pictures)
- Am I willing to keep my promises of communication/updates with the birth family?
- Do I want my child to have a relationship with their birth family?
- Am I willing to talk to my child about and help them make meaning of contact with their birth family?
- How might sharing updates or having visits affect me and my child?
- Do I want my child to have ready access to their biological family? Medical information? Biological siblings?
- Do I want my child to be able to ask their birth parents questions about why they chose adoption?
- What do I do if the relationship gets difficult? Am I willing to put the effort into the relationship even if it does get difficult?
- How will I react if my child wants more or less contact as they get older?
- Do I feel like I need my adoption professional to mediate this new relationship?
Author: Adoptionlife.org
